Stay out of the madhouse

Dear Drama Mamas: Our guild has a "sister guild" that raids with us, and recently a few of their members have boycotted our raids. They are doing this because some of our top DPS can't make our new raid times. So their GM is telling her people to not show up, even though we have 15+ people sign up for every raid. What should we do? (I am not the GM, by the way.) Signed, Bothered by Boycott

Drama Mama Robin: Boycott Betty sounds like a real peach of a guild leader. By telling her members to boycott your joint raids, she is essentially nullifying your guild alliance. If you were the GM, I would suggest that you go back to your previous raid schedule and find another guild to ally with and/or try to fill your ranks with similarly scheduled players. Obviously, Boycott Betty is neither mature nor reasonable, and she is likely to handle loot issues and personality conflicts in a similar manner. (Has that been your experience previous to the boycott?)

But you're not the GM, so there is only so much you can do. Certainly, you must inform your guild leadership of the boycott, if they don't already know. Also, express your concerns (be calm, clear -- and most of all, concise) and offer any help, such as any flexibility in your schedule you may have. Just like with our answer to Caged Beast, offering up backup plans for the transition period would be a good idea.

Surely, with all of the people playing WoW, there must be more options on your server than having to deal with Boycott Betty. (I know, I know. Don't call you Shirley.) Hopefully, your guild will be able to find those options soon so that you can get back to raiding regularly.

Drama Mama Lisa: Do what needs doing: nothing. If you are absolutely certain that a boycott is what's keeping those raid slots empty (How do you know that the other GM is telling her members to boycott? Who said so?), then don't sign up, either. You don't need to contribute to this situation in any way, from the raids themselves to the politics swirling around them.

Drama Mama Lisa: Egg, I hope you have a thick shell – because now is no time to crack under your own pressure. You're right: if you bring it up again, you'll be the one causing the drama.

So don't.

I'm willing to bet that the reason your guild is such a pleasant place to be is because there is a rule (whether explicitly written or implicitly understood) against public drama. It's a good bet that the matter was handled appropriately behind the scenes. Drama begets drama. It's not your place or your duty to witness any and all spankings.

Trust your GM. If the player ninjas something again, of course, you'll be perfectly within your rights to raise the matter with the GM anew. At that point, you'll need to be clear with yourself over whether or not the situation bugs you enough to quit the guild, especially should the GM continue to dodge the problem.

Oh, and BTW – quit PUGging with that annoying dude. Seriously. Life's too short to play with people who get under your skin. Now get out of here, quit worrying and go have some fun!

Drama Mama Robin: Egg, you handled it perfectly from the very beginning. You took a screenshot for proof and you approached your guild leader privately. You did not escalate the drama.

I probably would have immediately posted the screenshot on the guild forums along with a passionate rant and then regretted it the next day. Doing things like that makes you feel good because you're right! And justice is done! And so many people agree with you! But it's divisive and messy and while Rotten ninja'd the loot, I would have ninja'd the guild peace.

So pat yourself on the back for handling this so well, and good luck with minimizing contact with Rotten in the future. It's too bad there isn't a smart ignore function for guildies, where you can /ignore them during their butthead times and only hear them during raids -- but I guess you can accomplish that manually. Well done, Egg.